He's Going the Distance
If you are an occasional reader of this blog or know me personally, you may know that I am not one to shy away from masochism. About three years ago, I wrote about how four years prior to that I was in the midst of training for a marathon. It was my second foray into such stupidity as I had barely finished my first seven years prior to that, and promptly swore I would never attempt another. Well, the seven year itch struck again, and this past fall I found myself clicking the submit button on an online registration for a 50 mile endurance run. Yep, I figured if I'd already finished two marathons, albeit seven years apart, the next logical thing to do would be to attempt to run almost two full marathons in one sitting (or standing, or mostly death marching as they call it in the ultra world).
Attempting an ultramarathon had been on my list of things to do for a while. I originally thought I could just jump into a 100 miler (arguably the standard distance when someone mumbles "ultra"), but sensibly figured a 50 would be a good place to start. Recognizing that I am certainly not getting "Younger Next Year" (despite the title of the most recent book I read) and given that our youngest started a few mornings of preschool this past fall, giving me about five hours of "free" training time during the week, I figured there was no time like the present. I had also watched/read some pretty inspiring documentaries/books (listed at the bottom), which confirmed that I was sufficiently crazy enough to drop a couple of Benjamins on a race entry and all subsequent supplies.
As an avid runner for the past 21+ years, I've come to appreciate the act of running for the role it plays in my life. I wouldn't say I love running, but I love the way I feel after a good run. I love how it challenges me but allows me a certain amount of release at the same time. Running has become as beneficial for my emotional health as it has for my physical health. While I haven't always actively trained for a particular run or race, I've also found it important to carve out some time to run a few days a week. It makes me a better person. I also love how running long distances allows me (questionable) justification to eat whatever I want with relative reckless abandon.
Naturally, training for an ultramarathon took an excessive amount of time. The five hours of kidless time each week obviously wasn't going to be a sufficient amount of training time, no matter how many "Low Mileage Ultramarathon Training Plans" I Googled. In reality, the training wasn't significantly different than training for a marathon, with the exception of what is commonly referred to as the "block run". This usually means instead of doing your typical long run once a week like you would for marathon training, you do that long run, and then do it again (or as much as you can handle) the next day. The premise of the training is that you should never run the full amount of your ultra, but you should get pretty close over the course of two days. Training for a marathon, and especially an ultra, becomes essentially a part time job, and you start to wonder what other things you could have been doing with that time.
It can certainly be hard to justify taking that amount of time to engage in any particular pursuit, especially if you have a family that is feeling the brunt of your training. I knew though that the training would be temporary, and the run itself would eventually come and go. As a good friend, and decorated ultrarunner counseled me, you have to make sure your family is on board, because the training will take a lot out of you, and it will dictate a big chunk of your life. My wife, as you all know, is amazing and selfless and tolerates most of my bullshit, and the kids seemed rather apathetic to the notion of dad running excessive distances. They actually learned during my training that it probably worked to their advantage, as my need to try and get in a midweek run often meant some quality time for them with their favorite babysitter - the television. I found turning on the TV for them if I was going to spend some time on the treadmill was significantly easier to justify than most of the other reasons I turn the TV on for them - all of which revolve around my laziness.
So after six months of pounding the pavement, and the trails (and the occasional dreadmill), I was excitedly anticipating the run while also looking forward to the end of my training. I wrapped up my training with the longest run/jog/walk I'd ever completed in my life, all on muddy and snow covered trails and a third of it in relatively terrifying darkness, and was ready for my taper - which included four kidless days with my wife in New Orleans for a friend's wedding. As the run itself approach, I did my best to stay busy by preparing race logistics and marveled at how a few consecutive days of not running was actually diminishing the constant soreness in my legs. It felt like I was actually get the bounce back in my step. Just as I was as ready to become a dad I was was going get on November, 19, 2010, I was as ready as I was going to get for a 50 mile run.
And then the Minnesota winter scoffed at all of us, and especially the 900+ runners who signed up for one of the Zumbro runs. Comparable to 2018, which resulted in the cancellation of the 17 mile run of the Zumbro, an April blizzard descended onto most of the state of Minnesota, and the race directors, after much consideration and deliberation, made the decision to cancel all three of the Zumbro races (100, 50 & 17) out of concern for the runners and volunteers. Six months of training, 500+ miles of running, millions of calories burned (and probably more consumed), and no actual race to run. Obviously I was disappointed, but given that the weather was the cause of the cancellation, and not my decision to pull out because of injury or anxiety, made it a little easier to take. The race director detailed the thoughtful and difficult decision to cancel the run in a lengthy email explanation, and we still got the race shirts, which I wore for a week straight*.
Of course I didn't feel like the training went to waste. One of my biggest fears about getting old is losing the ability to engage in the pursuits that I love, or ones that I mildly enjoy and know are good for me. The most recent book I read, Younger Next Year, stresses the importance of engaging in physical activity nearly every day if you want to live a good long and health life. The authors see the art of aging as choosing to grow, by being vigilant about your health through exercise and healthy eating, or decay. We can't stop the fact that we will get older, but we can continue to do the things we enjoyed doing in our younger years if we commit to actively pursuing a healthy lifestyle.
My kids have certainly added some extra motivation for trying to remain physically capable. As they've gotten older, it has been fun to engage in some of the various recreational activities I really enjoy doing, and watching them starting to "get it". It makes me excited for the time in the not so distant future; when we can play catch in the backyard, hit the tennis ball or play some one on one hoops at the courts, follow each other through the trees on the double black diamonds, etc. Secretly, I have a (like unattainable) goal to always be BFS (bigger, faster stronger) than our kids. And not just for a sense of vanity - I've long given up on any pursuit toward six pack abs (to my wife's chagrin). But more out of a desire to hopefully always be able to keep up with them, and maybe push them a little. I will obviously always be their "old man", but I don't necessarily have to play like one - at least when it comes to being active.
I've also discussed in the past what I think is an important part of modeling healthy behaviors, and how I feel it is important for my kids to see me doing things that I enjoy and at times struggle with. I hope this shows them a small amount of hard work and dedication to things that they are passionate about and find joy in doing is most certainly worthwhile. If they gravitate toward being runners (and I hope they do), or any of the other leisure pursuits I really enjoy (of which there are many), that's great. But I will let them find their own path. Should they ever want to run a marathon and need a pacer, I want to be ready and up for the task, no matter my age. Now that our four year old recently learned how to ride his bike without training wheels, I'm already plotting routes for our family cross country bike trip (pedal bike).
So that is why I at times put my own body through the ringer - to try and stay healthy so I can keep up with the kids and hopefully live a long life, while also trying to model some healthy behaviors of engaging in things that I love. I recognize that it takes some time and commitment, and that might mean spending a little less time with them to engage in the things that bring me joy. But I figure if I take the time now to stay healthy and happy, I will hopefully have more time with them in the future, and more quality time when I can actively be a part of their lives and share in the pursuits that bring them joy.
Will I attempt another ultramarathon? Maybe. Maybe not. After my race was cancelled, I realized that after all of my training, I was pretty certain I could have completed 50 miles. It might not have been pretty, and I likely wouldn't have finished in the arbitrary time goal that I set for myself. But just knowing that I could have willed myself through it was an accomplishment enough - not to forget about the number of miles I logged over the six months, or the fact that I actually completed a couple of ultramarathons during my training^. For now I've been taking a little running break. Enjoying some additional quality time with the family, and tamping down a little bit on the kids' screen time (just a little).
I believe that whenever we try to better ourselves - whether through improving our physical health, mental or emotional health, or even our financial health - those attempts are never in vain, no matter if we reach our intended goal or not. We always learn something along the way, and for those of us who are parents, things we can pass along to our kids - hard work, perseverance, band-aids over the nipples, etc. For our kids to see us try, and either succeed, fail or not be able to complete our goal due to extenuating circumstances, and observe how we respond to that outcome can be a powerful motivator for them. It may encourage them to try and make their dreams be more than just dreams.
 |
| Picture taken immediately following Isla and my first ever daughter-father run. It was 2 mile glow run of which she ran almost half (impressive for a 4 y/o). We walked a bit and I piggybacked her occasionally |
*It's not uncommon for me to wear shirts, or other clothes for a week at a time.
^Technically, an "ultra" is considered anything longer than 26.2 miles. During my training, I did 30 and 34 mile runs/walks/jogs/death marches - neither were glamorous, but I was at least able to walk the following day.
Inspirational Readings/Viewings on Ultrarunning & Other Nonsense
PrintBorn To Run - Christopher McDougall
Eat and Run - Scott Jurek
Ultramarathon Man - Dean Karnazes
Mindful Running - Mackenzie L. Havey
My Year of Running Dangerously - Tom Foreman
What Doesn't Kill Us - Scott Carney
Film
"The Barkley's Marathon - The Race That Eats It's Young"
"The Barkely's Marathon - Where Dreams Go to Die"
"How To Run 100 Miles"
"Breaking 2"
"The Rise of the Sufferfests"
