Making a List, Checking It Twice
This year, I thought I'd take a different approach, given my new adventure. This is my SAHD (stay at home dad) Christmas List, based on what would compliment my daily operations:
- Food, lots of food. In bulk. We go to the grocery store about every two hours. I'm scared to think of the number of cavities my kids have developed from the consumption of free bakery cookies and suckers at the check-out.
Let me get more specific on what would work well:
- 2 Cows - one that will milk herself and deliver a half gallon of pasteurized, skimmed milk daily to our back door; another that will give birth to a calf and then walk herself to the meat market to be butchered and processed - the calf would then need to repeat the process the following year (circle of life)
- A chicken that would lay 1/2 dozen eggs each week; more if we decided to do breakfast for supper or an egg bake on the weekend.
- Year-round fruit-producing trees and plants; preferably apples, oranges, any/all berries but rasp, pineapples, pear (partridge optional). We could even do the picking, it would be a fun family activity. (I know what you're thinking, some of these things can't be grown in Minnesota, and especially not year round. Damn it, we went to the moon, someone can figure it out. Fruit is expensive!).
- Weekly deliveries of individual yogurt cups. The flavored kinds, please. If they are from Greece, even better.
- A baker to procure a loaf of fresh, sliced, whole grain bread between the hours of 2am-6am, three times a week.
- An indefinite, bottomless cup of coffee.
Just a few ideas in case you were planning to pick up any last minute gifts for me. If they seem unreasonable, peace on earth and goodwill toward men will also suffice.
|If they still make Mustangs in 2028 and if yellow is still her favorite color, she'd like one of these. |
No way, I'd be able to afford it. Ever.